Still none the wiser...

Well, the passport came back safely... minus a Chinese visa.

So, let's look at the facts:

• the Embassy in Hong Kong was to issue me with a new passport;

• it required my old passport (complete with a Chinese visa) in order to do so;

• it would cut the corners from the old passport, rendering it useless, as part of the process;

• it would be returning the new passport to a UK citizen, resident in China (a country where a visa is a legal requirement);

• the passport was issued minus said visa; and

• consequently, I have been an illegal immigrant now for over a month.

Why would anyone, even a civil servant, do something as banally stupid as that?

What possible reason could someone have for thinking that the passport did not require a visa? No, I can't think of one either.

Anyway, the result was a two-hour session at the PSB, involving a lot of questions, a photography session, several signatures (which you have to validate with a red-inked fingerprint across the top) on documents that I couldn't read, the exchange of a rather expensive-looking, unmarked, brown envelope and lots of 'aren't I a foolish foreigner' smiles to the lady at the desk. The result? I still don't have a passport with a visa.

I am scheduled to meet with the boss to sign a new contract at 3:00pm, when I will politely notify him that I am not going to sign anything until he can present me with my passport, complete with visa, and that I am 100% legal again.

The staff do not seem to realise that this is something of importance to a foreign national and wonder why I become frustrated with their lack of action if I ask them to do anything constructive about tracking the progress. At present I cannot book a hotel room, internal flight or do anything which requires proof of identification and confirms my legal status as a resident in China. It is not a situation that I wish to be in any longer and, hopefully, this afternoon's little tête-à-tête will higlight the importance of the issue.

Talking of the meeting, it is 2:30pm and I should head up to the school. I must get around to uploading some photographs soon. Every time that I decide to post an update it seems that it is rather time-limited but I have some interesting shots which, at around 1,000 words apiece, can tell you far more than I ever could in the time that I allow myself for blogging.

P.S. Weather's lovely !!

Still here, but for how long...

The school kept its status as an EF franchise, I renewed my contract for another year, you can't get a passport from the British Embassy, summer is here and I have sunburn.

Well, we had the visit from EF Shanghai and all went well. The new school is in transition phase at the moment which is, erm... interesting. But I am sure that we will iron out most of the wrinkles in due course.

I went to Beijing last month to renew my passport. My original intention was to go to Shanghai but, when I checked the British Embassy website a month previously, it informed me that Shangai stopped doing passports in February 2010 and I had to go to Beijing. Upon my arrival at the Embassy in Beijing, I was informed that they, too, have stopped issuing passports and I should go to Hong Kong. Marvellous.

Needless to say that I had neither the necessary time, nor holiday funds, to just jump on a plane and stay in Hong Kong for a couple of nights, so I have entrusted my passport to a Chinese courier company. I requested DHL but the school chose an alternative company which is "like DHL, only local".

The courier company in question is based in Rizhao. It took them four phone calls and a two-hour delay to locate the school, which is in the same city, which started the alarm bells ringing. I filled in the form in front of the two scruffy-looking representatives, to make sure that there were no errors or omissions, and one of the school's staff filled in the Chinese sections for me. They checked it over and off they went, leaving me with a wrinkled receipt informing me of my tracking number.

Two days later I received a call from the school informing me that my package could not be delivered "because I had not written down a telephone number for the recipient". Ok, breathe, Benny, breathe... calm down.

So, just which phone number would they like me to give them for the British Embassy, 1 Supreme Court Road, Hong Kong? The main switchboard, perhaps: "Dial '1' to be put on hold... Dial '2'... " etc.? Maybe they want the personal mobile number of whoever will be processing my application? What, exactly, do they expect me to put in as a phone number? But, and more importantly, why didn't Scruffy and Scruffier ask for that information in the first place and, furthermore, why does a courier company think its delivery driver will need to put in a phone call to find the BRITISH F***ING EMBASSY?!! Ok, breathe, Benny, breathe... calm down.

Anyway, it is all now in the lap of the Gods and if I get deported you can rest assured that you will read all about it here. If, on the other hand, I end up in a Chinese prison, you may find that blog updates become a little less frequent. Unless, of course, whilst behind bars, they provide me with a computer with internet access and don't mind me using proxy servers to bypass the Great Firewall of China...

Sun, sea, sand and... school

I am rapidly approaching the two-year mark here in China and I have just met my first representative from the parent company which promises so much on its website. And it looks as though we are actually going to receive some training this week. It is a little overdue, but welcome all the same.

The reasons why the powers that be have suddenly seen fit to take an interest are twofold – we are moving to new premises (same building, more stairs to climb) and the school has hit its five-year review. The purpose of the visit is to ascertain whether or not it will continue as an EF franchise or if we will be working as an independent school from now on. I am sincerely hoping for the former.

The new school brings with it reams of new technology and we will be working from "smart classrooms". This basically means a complete U-turn from the style of teaching to which I have become accustomed and the need to adapt to the new system. Those of you who know me will be aware that I am a self-confessed geek but I am still dubious about the use of IT in certain situations. A young learners environment is one of those situations.

Most of my classroom activities involve lively games, where the children are given the opportunity to run around and have fun, whilst learning at the same time. This form of teaching works well with young children, especially given that our private lessons are done outside of school hours, where most of the students would rather be playing computer games or watching TV.

The training for the new premises will take place over the next two days and my decision on whether or not to renew my contract, which ends on June 30, rests in the balance.

Watch this webspace...

If it ain't broke, fix it anyway

If this isn't already a rule in the IT manager's handbook, it definitely should be:

"If you have systems functioning correctly,
you can rely on a third party to screw things up."

Ever since I had my first computer at the age of seven I have been in the grasp of the evil forces of those who make our lives easier under the guise of IT. Whether it has been Microsoft or Apple deciding that working operating systems need updating (along with every piece of software that you own which will no longer function), hardware providers deciding not to support certain parts of their product range that they now consider obsolete or, as is the case more regularly in the post-internet era, third-party online service providers.

Now, I know that IT is a fast-paced industry and that I should be grateful I am able to navigate my way around the field of roaming mines, unaided by a roaming-minefield guide, and without losing any virtual limbs but, as I am now a mere home user, I find the time spent addressing such issues a real irritant.

The irritant of late has been the Great Firewall of China (GFC) mine, which respawns again each time that it blows up an unsuspecting website or proxy service, so that it can continue its killing spree ad infinitum. Of course this only applies inside China but it affects me and those around me.

Today's nuisance mine, however, is one that I thought to be quite slow moving and unlikely to cause me any problems once I was able to get past GFC: my beloved Blogger.com.

I received an e-mail this morning which read:

You are receiving this e-mail because one or more of your
blogs at Blogger.com are set up to publish via FTP. Earlier this
year we announced a planned shut-down of FTP support on
Blogger Buzz (the official Blogger blog), and that deadline of
May 1st is quickly approaching. This is the second and final
email reminder to migrate your FTP blog from your current
URL to a Blogger-managed URL (either a Custom Domain
or a Blogspot URL).

For more information on the deprecation of FTP, as well as
a handful of helpful resources which will help walk you through
the migration process, please take a look at our dedicated migration
blog: http://blogger-ftp.blogspot.com/.

Thanks for using Blogger.

Oh, joy of joys! I get to spend my morning changing things that have worked perfectly for as long as I can remember, with the uncertaintly that accompanies the process, not knowing if they will ever really function quite the same again. What have I done to deserve such excitement on an otherwise enjoyable day?

So, for three years I have been able to publish the blog quite happily using FTP, but now I must change my settings to publish to a Blogspot URL or a custom domain. Why? It all works fine and it is just a piece of script. What are they changing behind the scenes which means that the capability to publish via FTP is being abandoned?

Even as I write this I do not know if it will publish correctly or if I am going to have to manually create today's blog post using HTML. I sincerely hope that I do not as I would be faced with going through the same process for every update from now on. I do not want a Blogspot URL. I do have a custom domain but I don't really want to use it. I want to keep on publishing via FTP, the same as I have always done, because it works.

Anyway, I am now going to set up a new address with Blogger. My domains and webspace will end up as nothing more than expensive redirects as I do not have the time or energy to chase down my ISP from China to change all of the DNS entries and besides I may want to use the sites for something other than a blog one day. I will endeavour to update all redirects from other sites and any links that people may have as soon as possible and my apologies for any inconvenience caused by today's mine.

Time for lunch and a beer...

Hello Mum

As I have to jump through several hoops just to get my e-mail and Internet working properly and have to utilise a proxy to access banned sites like Blogger.com I decided to share my latest note home instead of penning a separate blog update...


新年快乐 !!

Your timing is excellent. We have just had the Lantern Festival (the last day of the New Year celebrations was on February 28) for this year (of the tiger), although the weather has not been very kind. So, I did not venture out to be photographed (again) or generally stared at and objectified (again), choosing instead to stay at home and watch the fireworks from my apartment window – very impressive they were, too. They were made even more enjoyable by the fact that I was sat near the heater, beer in hand, accompanied by some good friends, without the endless stream of irritating, Chinese, shanty-town dwellers pestering us (all of whom we love, just not all at once and especially not in the freezing cold).

And it is v-v-v-very c-c-c-cold (- 20゜C in Jinan yesterday). So, I am going to postpone my northward Beijing trip, to renew my passport, until the weather improves. I will probably venture up there sometime in June, before the summer courses begin.

But, otherwise, things here are wonderful. It has been very quiet during the New Year “festivities” because the locals in this tiny (only three million) city do not venture out to party, preferring to spend time at home with about five generations of relatives. It’s one of those Chinese things: they are very big on family. So, in a small city like Rizhao, when I meet new people they consider me to be very unusual – I have moved to a foreign country, away from friends and family, and I have never been married at the grand old age of 35. Although most of the time they cannot judge my age as it is difficult to gauge (ooh that rhymes!) and just last week I had a girl guess that I was only 20. I did ask her to marry me but I don’t think that she understood.

Anyway, it is always a pleasure to hear from you and I hope that ol’ Blighty has recovered from its winter spell – a particularly bad one this year – and that I will be able to catch up with you on the phone sometime soon. This e-mail thingamajig is all very well but it’s no substitute for hearing someone’s voice.

Take care and lots of love

Benny (laoshi)

--

Ben Lefroy
Rizhao EF English Training Centre
4th Floor, Riguang Building
No. 182, Yantai Road
Rizhao
Shandong
P.R. China 276826

Phone: +86 6338702020
Mobile: +86 13468318441
E-mail: ben@lefroy.co.uk
--

2010: Year of the Tiger

Those of you closest to me will know that I have just celebrated my birthday (many thanks to everyone for the calls, e-mails, text messages etc.) but you may not all be aware that 14 February was also Chinese New Year, so I was on holiday for my birthday as well. At least, I don't think that the national holiday was for my birthday but I would not be surprised if they have decided to honour me. After all, the last holiday was on 01 October, which I guess was for my sister's hatching date...

Fireworks are still going off outside as they have been doing for almost two weeks now. Before the main celebration there is a "Little New Year", which occurs one week before the lunar date, and is when the fireworks start. The pops, whistles and bangs carry on for one week, until Chinese New Year, when the pops, whistles and bangs reach peak intensity. They then continue, albeit at a reduced level, for the next seven days, as the majority of the Chinese are still on holiday. And now, towards the end of the holiday, as businesses begin to re-open, there is a fresh wave of fireworks to celebrate the start of trading again for the New Year.

So, why do they set off so many fireworks?

Apparently, the fireworks are to scare away evil spirits. The Chinese believe the start of a new year to be a very important time and, for those of you who are interested, you can find a lot more information by looking on Wikipedia.

And what does the coming Year of the Tiger mean for those born under this sign?

Maybe some of you were born during a Year of the Tiger?

You were if you were born in one of these years:
1902, 1914, 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986 or 1998 (2010, after 14 February, is, of course, also a Tiger year but I doubt that many readers fall into this category).

Find out more about the characteristics of Tigers here. There is plenty to read, although I have my suspicions that it may be a little biased in their favour. Anyone who registers the URL http://www.yearofthetiger.net/ and spends such a long time posting that much information about just one of the 12 zodiac signs is probably... well, a Tiger.

Anyway, the sun is shining, the snow is refusing to melt, I haven't managed to see any of the preparation in the run up for the Winter Olympics apart from a rather unfortunate photograph of the British women's bobsleigh team, taken from behind (she's lucky that she wasn't – you can see the story here) and it's back to work on Monday.

So, once again, I will just wish you all a xīn nián kuài lè !!

(Happy [Chinese this time] New Year)

Has it really been that long?!

I have just read with some amazement that the last post was in March last year. I cannot believe how the time has flown and how little, of any note, has occurred since then. At least, nothing of interest to friends and family back home.

After the riots last year in the north-west between the Han and the Urumqi, China clamped down on the ability to access a lot of websites that it considered a threat, including Facebook, Blogger and even Skype. Hence the lack of updates.

However, I have now found a way around the Great Firewall of China with a little proxy service that gives me an address in the US and so I now have no excuse for not keeping the blog up to date. Unfortunately, I still can’t use any of my online gambling accounts because the IP address is, well… in the US.

So, what has happened since the last update? The headlines:

April: "Easter": A relative who shall remain nameless (Mum) distributes disturbing pornographic material.

A shocking reflection on modern society

May: "Hannah (a.k.a. the Ginger Ninja) visits China – residents of Rizhao flee in panic": They fled in droves, terrified by rumors of her impending arrival, with many jumping empty-handed into motorcycle taxis and farm trucks, before vacating the city.

Residents fleeing the city in May

June: "Loch Ness Monster sighted in Rizhao": residents remain calm.

Unfazed by "Nessie" – one of the residents who fled in May

July: "Riots in north-western China amid ethnic tension": The riots between the Urumqi and Han populations result in many deaths. R.I.P. Facebook, Blogger and Skype.

Lest we forget

August: "Fears of swine flu epedemic escalate": As the number of reported cases continues to increase, governments issue health warnings.

Robin Cook was one the first victims

September: "Tourist season ends – beaches deserted": As the summer comes to an end in Rizhao, traders prepare for a quiet time until next year.

A worrying sight for traders as the season comes to a close

October: "Halloween": A relative who shall remain nameless (Dad) distributes disturbing pornographic material.

Proof, if ever it were needed, that pumpkins are scary

November: "Scientists develop new mouse for women": After years of extensive research on how to get a female brain to function in a logical fashion akin to that of computer processes, scientists have come up with a new design in mouse technology that should make the learning process feel a lot more natural.

One less barrier for women in the IT world

December: "Customers say 'no' to Cadbury merging with Nestle": Aside from the fact that Cadbury is a British brand that is loved by the British public, there have been some concerns regarding a merger between the two confectionery giants.

Not really suitable for young children

The inspiration for Brokeback Mountain?

Just wrong

January: "Ben updates blog": A bit of a silly one this month as I have been out of touch for so long. I hope that you all had a great festive season and a welcome break from the daily grind. Life in China is still treating me very well and I wish you all the best for 2010.

I will endeavour to update the blog on a regular basis from this point forward and would just like to wish you all a xīn nián kuài lè (Happy New Year) !!